Have you ever expressed good faith to your family? Because I was afraid that my family would worry, I chose not to say anything, but I had love and deception behind it. Between speaking and not speaking, the heart of the ignorant is also full of suffering. Is it really a "correct choice" for the ignorant family?

Eurbama and Ang Lee selected the best film of the year, and made a brilliant reputation

"Don't Tell Her" is a 2019 Chinese family drama drama. After it was released in the United States, it unexpectedly ignited the box office reputation and won the Golden Ball Award for the Best Foreign Film. Former US President Eurbama took this A movie was included in the list of favorites in 2019; the well-known international director Ang Lee praised "Don't Tell Her" as the best recommended movie of the year; as an independent film invested in small investments and all-Asian actors, what charm does "Don't Tell Her" attract everyone to memorize it?

"Don't Tell Her" directed by Wang Ziyi is adapted into a real story directed by the real story. It tells the story of a Chinese family that grandma suffered from cancer and has not been around for many days. The family chose to intimate her condition, and planned a fake wedding ceremony to design a family gathering. In the well-intentioned situation, only Santa Billie, who returned from New York, the United States, believed that grandma had the right to know her condition. The conversation between Billie and her family in the film also truly presents the thinking in director Wang Ziyi's mind:

"Do you think we should tell grandma?"

"Why should we tell her?"

"What if grandma has something to do?"

"She doesn't have anything she wants to do."

"Where does she want to see you again?"

"It's so painful! Why do you want her to live with these? She is doing well now, like a normal person. If you tell her, it will hurt her good mood."

{twenty one} {twenty two}

Life and death view under the differences between Chinese and Western cultures

If something big happens in a Chinese family, the first thing that is to be confused is the children and the elderly. When Billie was a child, she had made her see the last side of her parents because of her kind deception. When she grew up, she actually did the same. Her work in the United States was not smooth. When she returned to Changchun's hometown in China, she could only hide her fragility and put on a strong look. However, grandma is the person who loves her the most, so she keeps asking: Is it right to bully grandma?

Here, there is a sharp cultural difference between the West. Westerners have a habit of saying that it is true whether it is love or life and death. Orientals are implicit in their voluntary conspiracy. When facing death, we believe that if they tell the truth, they will feel fear, difficulty, and burdened, and will lose the will to survive and die faster.

Why do Chinese people act in good faith? Because I don't know what to say, so I just don't say it?

Later, at the marriage of relatives, Billie seemed to have mastered the meaning of family, that is, the family should inherit the joy, anger, sorrow and joy of each other. The Chinese family advocates collectiveism. Whenever we make any decision, we should consider the feelings between family members, protect the self-esteem of the family, and speak tactfully in bad things to avoid being worried; good things should be sweeter and calm. In the later part of the movie, the helper who was uninformed was going to the hospital to help his grandmother get a report. Billie was afraid that her grandmother would find out the secret of her illness, so she ran wildly on the streets of Changchun. The long lens along the way revealed Billie's major mood change. She wanted to protect her family's mood. With the rapid running pace, she let people follow her tight.

Jeff, professor of cultural psychology at California Polytechnic State University. In the Asian culture, this tactful expression method is called "high-spirited communication", which means that Easterners focus on "home harmony and all things to be happy", and use obscure, tactful, avoiding conversation, and slandering communication methods to minimize possible conflicts. Under this cultural dimension, those words that cannot be expressed are often more important than those that are exported.

What attitude do you use to teach your children how to distinguish between life and death?

When we face the deceased family, we are unwilling to let go and cannot bear to tell the truth; when we face the children, we are in a position to beautify death and avoid the importance of the death of our family. For example, we told the child that "grandma has slept very long" and "going far away places". The child's concept of death is unclear. How to guide the child to be able to separate from life with correct mindsets is not taught in school, which is a very important course in life.

If parents can help their children to realize in advance that "death is a natural phenomenon in life" with a more relaxed mind, it will be very helpful for their mental growth. When children encounter setbacks, such as exam failure, parents' divorce, major changes, etc., they can face ups and downs in life with a more mature mind.

A life with a smile and a clean life is the truth. "Things What Movies Teach Me" gives a good explanation for the meaning of family: Every family seems to be beautiful must have a dissatisfaction in every body. Sometimes they are forced to play roles that they cannot accept and do things they don't like to do. For the sake of family harmony, people make sacrifices and coordination, and they also see the truest face of love in this unscathing grievance.